Tradition, what does it mean and look like in a modern world?
What traditions do we have access to when born into a modern culture that is generations away from any kind of deep ancestral rooted way of living? (speaking from my experience growing up within the culture I was exposed to through high-school)
How do we know, if we are not shown?
Being a young woman in this day and age is not always as wonderful as it could be.
Growing up in a public school where one is not accepted If your skirt is too long or you don’t fold your sleeves up..
The constant drilling of social hierarchy infiltrating the developing character of a young woman as she, naturally, looks to her fellow peers in the school yard to learn the behaviours that lead to a sense of some kind of belonging?
But “you don’t have to be like everyone else, be unique, be YOU”
Tell that to a 13 year old girl desperate to fit in to a society that has programmed her since her mind began thinking (and before) that if you don’t be like everyone else you will be ostracised, which is unbearable for a young adolescent who is craving connection to the ever growing world around her.
Throughout our teens, the brain is like a blank page, awaiting to be written and sculpted through our relationships and experiences that shape who we are and our understanding of life.
It is our becoming of age time, where we historically, were learning our responsibilities as a woman (or man) and what that meant in regards to the way we relate to ourselves and the external environment.
The traditions I was exposed to in my younger years growing up in a metropolitan area along the east coast of Australia, were those stemming from a mass party culture. Nothing that led to any kind of wholesome act of service.
Everything is a choice? you may say
Yes everything is a choice, but what influences our choices at such a young vulnerable part of our life? Our environment of course, those who we spend our time with.
Yes a big part of that Is the parents job, to provide secure relationships that set us up for relating in a secure way. Unfortunately, we live in a broken world. My mother did everything she possibly could given that she was a single parent and I was the youngest of 5. She did not have the support to provide for my ever growing emotional needs (that were unique to me considering I grew up without a father)
It is rare to see any parents who do these days! Not because they are bad parents, because society has made it near impossible to create healthy functioning families, heck society has made it near impossible to create healthy functioning individuals!
Biologically, at that crucial becoming of age period in our lives, we are wired for learning outside behaviours that show us how to survive through life. Hence why indigenous tribes have been so successful in raising “strong in self” growing individuals that understand they are a part of the tribe and more than that they know the value of their responsibilities in contributing to the health of the tribe.
So where are the mentors? Teaching young people these vital life lessons? Where are the connected young women with self respect that are in touch with their life baring gifts?
We have ventured far away from any wholesome traditions
“I must be “cool” and stay at the top of my social circle through learning these behaviours and seeking validation this way, otherwise who am i?” Someone that has no reference point of knowing who they are is within
One way or another, whether it be through destructive or healthy behaviour, we all crave validation. We are literally wired to feel secure within our social networks, it is our greatest survival skill and has been for eons
It is no wonder we have a mass identity crisis within modern society.
Those who have grown up in highly populated areas most likely spent the vital becoming of age years disassociating through substance abuse, recklessly killing brain cells or jumping into countless disposable dis-functional relationships. Why? Because this is “normal”
Within this culture, it is “normal” to sleep with many people, it is “normal” destroy the health and well-being of our bodies through toxic cheap thrilled “fun”
What on earth hope does anyone who grew up in this cultural chaos have if they don’t find that awareness as an adult that the cultural norms we grew up partaking in are so far from any normal natural human lifestyle that has ever existed and actually led to a whole bunch of wounded habits and patterns that we carry on through life unless we do the adult thing and undo and rewire
Sometimes the older generations validate these destructive habits “oh everyone goes through the party phase, you gotta get it out of your system”
……
I do not want to normalise detrimental behaviour that leads to suffering and dis-function later in life The self sabotaging masked as “fun” culture is not normal, and does not create strong healthy individuals or communities and I do not want to raise children within it
It is the result of a culture so confused and uprooted from any natural human tradition that leads to healthy growth and wholesome living
We have created our own traditions over generations that don’t promote either of these things
We as strong minded adults who care about creating a better future must create better pathways for young people to find a sense of self that is actually themself.. not a false sense of identity Lets redefine the meaning of cool, to something that benefits our character development rather than stunting it
Striving towards being in service of the greater good.. thats pretty cool
Humans are always going to create traditions (tradition; a belief or behaviour passed down within a group or society with symbolic meaning or special significance with origins in the past)
When our values align with a sense of purpose and embodiment, healthy traditions are formed.
What traditions are you chiseling into the future?
Are we normalising nourishing traditions or degenerative traditions?
(disclaimer, I am grateful and in touch with the many privileges of being born in australia 29 years ago and would not change the life I have had thus far. I am just creating a conversation about the issues within society that need to be brought to light so we can continue to grow and create strength in community and provide for the generations to come in the best way we can)
Eggon mother and children walking home from farm in Wakama Village, Akwanga Nasarawa State Nigeria.